If I Could See the Moon


By: Maggie

If I Could See the Moon image by Maggie
Image by Maggie LeMay


A/N: For my dear friend, Matt Sluder.

Rest with the angels, Matt.












Did you see the moon last night?


"I'm sorry, Mr. Tanner, did you say something?"


Vin looked up from his report and shook his head slightly. "Naw, Ez. I've just been tryin' to make heads or tails of this report Buck typed up."


Standish grinned and turned back to the monitor in front of him.


It was really quite a view


The undercover agent cocked his head to one side. Either Buck and JD were messing with him or he was losing his mind. Looking across the bullpen, he saw that the aforementioned agents were busy arguing over who was buying lunch and who bought yesterday.


As I watched it lighting up the sky, my first thought was you


Ezra didn't notice he had snapped the pencil he held in two. Rising from his chair, he bolted out the office door, down the hall to the restroom. Splashing cold water on his face, he looked in the mirror.


But the clouds around my heart, make it easy to conceal


He gasped as the importance of today's date hit him. Had it really been ten years? More cold water splashed on his face and he pulled a linen handkerchief from his pocket. Carefully, he unfolded the object. In one corner was a print of crimson lips; a ghost of a smile touched his own lips as he remembered the owner of those lips and how he had been slightly perturbed that she had ruined one of his hand-sewn handkerchiefs.


I love it when we talk, just talk, about all the things our lives have brought

All the good things and the bad, all the lessons we've been taught


Trembling fingers traced the lips, then slid down to the dark stain in the opposite corner. Ten years. But it was only yesterday.


I wanna kiss you, then  I don't....cause I'm afraid that I may drown....


The bust had gone horribly wrong, and she had been caught in the crossfire between her fellow ATF agents and the gunrunner they were intent on bringing down, one way or the other.


When she arrived at the hospital, the doctors had worked feverishly to save her, but the bullet had ricocheted inside and the damage was too great to repair. She died on the operating table, Ezra's handkerchief still clutched in her hand.


Remember the moon, Ezra. Always make sure you can see the moon and you'll be safe.


Ezra slid to the cold tile floor, holding the precious piece of fabric to his chest and let the tears flow unchecked.


If I could see the moon ...


The End





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